The Clinic

 

 

 

Xhex: *laying on the cot inside my cell, looking at a whole lot of nothing new on the ceiling*

Xhex: *the wait a bitch, sure as shit not wanting to think, or count the seconds, until being moved to the exam room*

Xhex: *struggling not to put myself through that particular hell again, torture from my captors more than sufficient*

Xhex: *Too many mornings spent…staring up…reliving nightmares of things the humans have done to me.*

Xhex: *thinking about my life before being grabbed, brought to this damn place, turned into a guinea pig for human scientists*

Xhex: *playing a sick game in my mind…let’s guess what are they going to do to me, what new horrors await*

Xhex: *every time the locks disengage, wondering if this will be my last day alive, death would be a welcome relief*

Xhex: *My nature won’t allow for giving up…the weeks, months, since I’ve been here, fighting against them like I’m on fire.*

Xhex: *Every day, giving it everything in me to keep them from taking me to that god forsaken room…*

Xhex:  *…to stop them from poking at me with their needles and scopes. The Hippocratic oath definitely doesn’t extend beyond the human species.*

Xhex: *teetering on the edge of starvation, fed enough to keep me alive, not enough to allow me my strength*

Xhex: *hungering for blood and for food, a struggle to lift my feet to walk to the table where they tied me down and examined me*

Xhex: *Each day they would come, and each day I would make them work for the privilege.*

Xhex: *Those motherfuckers had to drag me every time, kicking, desperate to find some footing that would stop what I knew was going to happen.*

Xhex:*I would lash out with every ounce of energy I could muster, but it never did any good. Never Enough.*

Xhex: *hearing the locks open, seeing the aides enter, my head dropping to my chest, hungry, will slipping*

Xhex: *wanting it to stop, god damn it, all of it…the fight…the pain…my life, death preferable to this non-existence*

Xhex: *struggling, trying to bite the arm of the male holding me, a lab rate in a sick maze with no way out*

Xhex: *being carried into the exam room, stripped, strapped to the table, knowing there is no escape…having tried every fucking avenue I could*

Xhex: *seems the millionth time, resigned to what they are going to do, knowing it will be endured, nothing new*

Xhex: *watching the nurse slosh brown antiseptic on the floor before disappearing to the other side of the room, sounds of metal on metal*

Xhex: *a new male entering the room, looking directly at me, eyes glistening with excitement, not the typical pants pissing fear*

Xhex: *vaguely registering the nurse’s question “Doctor, would you like me to set up on your right side or your left?”*

Xhex: *Doctor. Explains the almost predatory gleam when his eyes met mine. Like I was fresh meat and he’d been eating shit for far too long.*

Xhex: *the clamor of tools being put into place the only indication that something was happening, the fucking chin strap keeping me from seeing*

Xhex: *inability to see inciting panic, knowing I can handle anything I can see coming, can’t see anything but the ceiling*

Xhex: *reaching out with my mind, trying to feel what is going on, the new doctor exuding way too much aggression, excitement*

Doctor: I’m glad you finally called me here for this. *voice gruff, annoyed* I’m not happy that I had to wait this long. @Xhex_BDB

Doctor:  My part in this is second in importance only to studying its immune system. I should have been allowed here sooner. @Xhex_BDB

Xhex: *growling at being referred to as an it, not a fucking animal*

Xhex: *disturbed, the new guy overzealous, angry as he and the regular doctor leave to discuss shit they don’t want me to hear*

Xhex: *the nurse’s humming driving me up a fucking wall, the off key music belying her true feelings*

Xhex: *anxiety fear rolling off of her, her heightened fear smelling of sulfur, burning my nose as I wonder what the fuck is up*

Xhex: *legs being moved, bent, strapped at the ankles, then the knees, finally being tethered tightly at the hips*

Xhex: *breathing shallow, panic beginning to surface…never been tied like this before, trussed like poultry*

Xhex: *the feeling of being trapped skyrocketing, legs fighting against the restraints without prompting from my brain*

Xhex: *Nothing to send you into orbit like being trapped.*

Xhex: *snarling at the nurse when she pats my arm and tells me there’s nothing to worry about*

Xhex: *If there’s nothing to worry about, why the fuck is she shaking?  And why does she pull the straps so hard the leather bites into my skin?*

Xhex: *wanting to scream as she chirps to me that she’s telling the doctor we’re ready, like bubbly would make this better for me*

Xhex: *More likely, it makes it better for her, makes her feel like what they’re doing isn’t quite so fucked up.*

Xhex: *heart hammering against my chest, trying to push its way out, a voice in my head screaming, another whispering*

Xhex: *one yelling that I need to get the fuck out of here, the other quietly telling me I deserve this treatment, the hushed tones easier to hear*

Xhex: *closing my eyes against the truth, the quiet voice is right, knowing I’m poison and I’d earned this nightmare*

Xhex: *throwing out a prayer, making a deal with a deity I don’t believe in* If I get out of this, I’ll never get close to anyone again.

Xhex: I promise I’ll never get close enough to hurt anyone else. *hoping this deal would get me out of hell*

Xhex: *reality hitting me, that I’m good for nothing else, just a worthless half-breed, fetid, fucked up beyond salvation, *@DrMark_BDB

Doctor Mark : *slamming the doors open, pulling on gloves, not bothering to scrub up* Let’s get this show on the road. *crackling with anticipation*

Xhex: *taking a deep breath, trying to convince myself that this was not different, and like every other test, it would be over quickly* @DrMark_BDB

Doctor: *settling in the seat by the end of the table* No need to warm those. It’s not like we’re dealing with a person here. *beginning the exam*

Xhex: *eyes popping open at the sensation of ice being shoved inside me, screaming without meaning to*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: *jerking my legs hard, crying out, the leather straps not giving, Jesus Christ, not this, anything else, but not this*

Doctor: *hand out* Curette.

Xhex: *searing pain burning a hole inside my gut, the smell of blood, mine, invading my nose*

Doctor: Get some biopsy slides over here. I want a few samples.

Xhex: *arching my back, trying to lift my hips, to move them away from the male who was violating me, cursing as tears well in my eyes*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: I’ve endured test after test, and though I’ve fought against all of it, none of it compared to this abuse.

Xhex: *pulling again, determined to move, not matter how loathsome I am, not deserving of this, treatment even an animal doesn’t deserve*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: *barely hearing the nurse at my head, gently telling me to calm down, as if it is by choice that I’m here*@DrMark_BDB
Doctor: *trying to get a deeper tissue sample, pushing the curette further, the writhing getting in the way*

Doctor: *barking out* Make it keep still! *putting a fist on @Xhex_BDB’s stomach, pushing down hard*

Xhex:*spitting through my teeth, eyes glowing with anger, my words a low, gutteral rumble * @DrMark_BDB I’m going to fucking kill you.

Doctor: *chuckling at the idle threat coming from the bound creature on the table in front of me*

Xhex:*aggression boiling, fangs punching down hard, puncturing my bottom lip, an eerie calm descending on me*

Xhex: *eyes flashing bright red, my true nature emerging, knowing beyond any doubt that this asshole is a dead man*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: *turning to find the nurse’s eyes, wide with terror, looking into mine, the sympath in me pushing a vision into her mind*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex:*her fingers loosening the ties on my right arm, freeing me, but just one arm so the doctor wouldn’t see*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: *not sure why I did it, sure as fuck not expecting it to work like it is, making pained noises, keeping the sick doctor unaware*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: *as he continues with his slice and dice, my now free hand works the chin strap loose before getting to work on the rest*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: *quickly sitting up, a scalpel in my hand before the doctor knew what was doing, a murderous look in my eye* Dead man.@DrMark_BDB

Doctor:*looking up, surprised* What the…

Xhex: *burying the blade in his neck, twisting it, careful to puncture the larynx, making breathing and speech impossible*@DrMark_BDB

Doctor:
*unable to breathe, clawing at my neck, mouth gaping open and shut like a fish out of water, blood gurgling in my throat*

Xhex: *eyes hardening, staring right into the eyes of the bastard who’d violated me, probing his mind to watch his death thoughts*@DrMark_BDB

Doctor: *shock registering, deprived of oxygen, frenzied, my mind fighting death, not wanting to leave this life*

Xhex: *wanting more than the physical manifestations of death, wanting to see his fear, feel his panic…to save them, savor them*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: *needing to witness the fading of his consciousness, knowing his horror would keep me warm on long, cold nights*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex: *hearing the others, laying back, listening to his last gasp, seeing the light leave his eyes, wide with fear*@DrMark_BDB

Xhex:*waiting for them to tranquilize me, starve me more, to neutralize the threat without killing me*

Xhex: *no more care in my heart, nothing anyone does to me after this will matter*

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