Baby Training & Butt Paste

 

Jane:  *Watching the faces around the room with a smirk, giving @BellaR_BDB a wink* You might all be wondering why I’ve assembled you here.

Z:  *Widening my stance and casually crossing my arms over my chest while pegging @DocJaneW_BDB with a dry stare.*

Jane:  *Smiling as I open the box.* It’s something important and it will require your undivided attention.

V:  *Admiring how my female takes charge of the room. I am going to be in her when we are done here*

Jane:  *Grabbing the first two surprises from the boxhttp://www.a3bs.com/imagelibrary/P30/P30_01_Nurse-Training-Baby-New-Born.jpg40gmail.com&gs_l=hp.3…869.869.0.1857.1.1.0.0.0.0.147.147.0j1.1.0…0.0.xRd5lIkz7DU&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=4a7734df38a3f986&biw=1366&bih=643*

Rhage:  @DocJaneW_BDB Is it time for @Butch_BDB’s annual physical because I’d like to be excused.

Bella:  *Laughing to myself as I see the faces change so quickly after@DocJaneW_BDB pulls out the surprise.*

V:  @Rhage_BDB Turn your head and cough, Cop @DocJaneW_BDB@Butch_BDB

Wrath:  *Cracking my neck, one hand on the small of @BethR_BDB’s back. Jaw cracking when I see @DocJaneW_BDB’s surprise guests*

Jane:  *laughing sharply* That would be a no, @Rhage_BDB. *Putting the first baby in front of you. Addressing the room.* Babies. @Butch_BDB

Butch:  @DocJaneW_BDB Babies? *mumbles under my breath* I think I’d be happier with group physicals. @Rhage_BDB @Vishous_BDB

Jane:  *Taking the next and putting in front of @Vishous_BDB* This is young 101. Be ready.

Rhage:  *Staring down at the baby @DocJaneW_BDB puts in front of me, nudging @Butch_BDB* I imagine that’s what your young would look like

Butch:  @Rhage_BDB With @MarissaH_BDB as their mahmen? My babies are going to be gorgeous. @DocJaneW_BDB

V:  @Butch_BDB Here’s hoping they look like her, true? @Rhage_BDB @MarissaH_BDB @DocJaneW_BDB

Beth:  *Wrapping my arm around @Wrath_BDB’s waist, smiling softly and whispers* It’s alright, hellren mine. I will help. @DocJaneW_BDB

Wrath:  *Judging the distance to the door*

Wrath:  @BethR_BDB I will break it. No remains identifiable.@DocJaneW_BDB

V:  *Laughing at the creepy doll* @Butch_BDB it has your eyes@Rhage_BDB

Bella:  *Carefully focused on @Zsadist_BDB’s reaction.*

Jane:  *Taking the next few from the box, dropping the fullest in front of @Butch_BDB* @MarissaH_BDB sends her love.

Butch:  @DocJaneW_BDB *sighs, getting a good look at the plastic… thing* I’d rather be at Safe Place with her tonight, too.@MarissaH_BDB

Rhage:  *Grabbing a sharpie from @Vishous_BDB’s pocket, drawing a goatee on his doll* There, looks just like you

Rhage:  *Really glad @MaryL_BDB is at Safe Place with @MarissaH_BDB tonight instead of being here to witness this*

Jane:  You’re not getting out of this one, sorry King. @Wrath_BDB *Handing the baby to @BethR_BDB*

Beth:  *Using my free hand I take the doll from @DocJaneW_BDB* See, not so bad. *grins* @Wrath_BDB

Wrath:  *Seeing @BethR_BDB with a possible plastic future in her hands and feeling a cold block of fear and petrification form deep in my gut*

Wrath:  @BethR_BDB Until it does stuff. *scratches head nervously, looking at my brothers taking it lightly*

Butch:  @DocJaneW_BDB I think @Rhage_BDB’s doll is missing something. You got a mini dragon in that magic box of creepy?

Jane:  *Grabbing the diapers first, handing them out*

Jane:  @Butch_BDB Actually- *going back to my box tossinghttp://www.adorablekidsdressup.com/Cloud%20Nine%20Images/Stuffed%20Animals/Large%20Stuffed%20Dragon.jpgto @Rhage_BDB*@MaryL_BDB wanted you to have this for inspiration

V:  @Rhage_BDB Now he looks good. *Picks up the doll with the bad ass goatee, turning to @DocJaneW_BDB* you want me to do what with this?

Jane:  *Coming up behind @Vishous_BDB, whispering my answer* You’re going to diaper up that baby with a hand tied behind your back. @Rhage_BDB

V:  @DocJaneW_BDB Didn’t we all vote that @Rhage_BDB has permanent diaper duty? @Zsadist_BDB @BellaR_BDB

Jane:  *Pegging you with a hard stare* Don’t make me strip you of your Nurse title, @Vishous_BDB. @Rhage_BDB @Zsadist_BDB @BellaR_BDB

V:  @DocJaneW_BDB That’s cold, female mine *holding the doll by the leg, trying to figure out the damn diaper* @Rhage_BDB @Zsadist_BDB @BellaR_BDB

Jane:  @Vishous_BDB *flashing you a secret smile*

Z:   *Scrubbing a hand over my skull trim as I eyeball http://bit.ly/NkXSgK . Glancing down @BellaR_BDB and kissing the top of her head.*

Rhage:  *cracking my knuckles, picking up the diaper* @Vishous_BDB how hard can it be? @DocJaneW_BDB @Zsadist_BDB @BellaR_BDB

Bella:  *Handling the diaper with ease, knowing my future will contain many of these, smiling up at @Zsadist_BDB.*

Z:  *Watching @BellaR_BDB do a presto-chango with her doll, then looking down at mine with a diaper in my hand.* Shit.

Beth:  *Takes a diaper from @DocJaneW_BDB, laying the doll down, glancing up at @Wrath_BDB and whispering softly* Go, hellren mine.

Wrath:  @BethR_BDB *blowing out a shaky breath, framing your body with mine for a minute* You know me. *dropping lips to your neck*

Jane:  *Smiling at @BellaR_BDB, handing over the reigns* Bella, why don’t you show them how to diaper them like a pro?

Bella:  Thanks @DocJaneW_BDB. lay the bigger side down, gently *emphasizing the word* lay the young on top of it, pull the front around.

Butch:  *analyzing the diaper like I would a crime scene, equally grossed out with the idea of getting hands on* Where do you even start?

Rhage:  *Ripping the tabs off the diaper before I even get it under the doll*@DocJaneW_BDB I think I need a new one

Butch: @Rhage_BDB Fucked it up right from the start, Hollywood? Way to go. @DocJaneW_BDB

Jane: @Rhage_BDB *Grabbing another from the pile, handing it to you* Gentle. @MaryL_BDB will be testing you later.

Rhage:  *hitting @Butch_BDB with the diaper* shouldn’t you be a pro at this. Don’t you Catholics pop babies out left and right?

Butch:  @Rhage_BDB Think about old, human me. Would you want coked up Uncle Butch touching your kid? Not so much.

Wrath:  @BethR_BDB *voice rasping* Meet me in an hour and I will pay you back. Fully. *backing from the room, gaining speed as I depart*

Beth:  *Feeling @Wrath_BDB’s soft lips against my neck, turning my head to kiss his temple before he leaves.* I do, I will see you later. *smiles*

Bella:  The sides stick together, but make sure you don’t pull too tightly or it might- *shaking my head as sides rip quicker than I can finish*

Bella:  The sides will be strong enough to hold closed if you press them just lightly. *Diapers being shredded and dolls all over the place.*

Jane:  @BellaR_BDB *putting a comforting hand on your shoulder* It’s okay. You’ll see, everything will fall into place. Let’s make this more fun.

Bella: @DocJaneW_BDB you’re right. these are only dolls, what’s the worst that could happen? *As I lift my doll and it pees all over me*

Z:  *Jerking a sticky things off the pile of plastic POS, ripping the tab clean off* Yo, @DocJaneW_BDB, Got duct tape?

Jane:  @Zsadist_BDB Contrary to popular lore and old wives tales, duct tape does not fix everything

V:  *watching @BellaR_BDB, intently, following what she does. Finally getting the damn thing on the doll. Handing it to @DocJaneW_BDB*

Z:  *Cocking a brow @Vishous_BDB finishing up working the diaper on the creepy ass doll* Show off.

V:  @Zsadist_BDB I have mad skillz, yo

Jane:  @Vishous_BDB *Taking the doll* Nice technique hellren mine, too bad this baby’s going to code from asphyxiation. Too tight. Again.

Beth:  *Turning my attention back to the room, having already diapered the doll, laughing at @Vishous_BDB @Butch_BDB @Rhage_BDB@Zsadist_BDB

Butch:  *picking up the doll to start diapering it… only for it to spring a leak all over me* Son of a bitch! These things PEE?

Rhage:  *Laughing when @Butch_BDB’s doll starts to pee, frowning when a puddle starts forming under mine, tossing it at him* Think fast, Cop

V:  *Dropping the doll as @Butch_BDB gets peed on, roaring laughter at Cop*

Butch:  @Rhage_BDB *turning instinctively, catching the doll, “pee” running down my chest* Fuck you so much. So much.

Jane:  *Laughing as I hand out the baby powder, a fluke as we’ll never really use the stuff, I’ve got something better in store*

Bella:  *Wiping up the mess from the doll, shaking some baby powder on the doll, fitting the diaper on properly.*

V:  *Picking the doll up, hoping @DocJaneW_BDB didn’t see it fall. Taking the too tight diaper off, applying a new one*

Bella:  *Looking around the room as these males all practice for @Zsadist_BDB and my young, touching my belly, knowing our young will be loved.*

V:  *Shaking baby powder all over the baby* Oh man this shit stinks.@DocJaneW_BDB

Jane:  Good thing you won’t be using baby powder. @Vishous_BDB *Raising my voice so everyone can hear* It’s all about butt paste!

Butch:  One of you assholes get me a towel. For me and Butch, Jr.@Rhage_BDB @Vishous_BDB

Beth:  *Taking one last look around the room, seeing the Brothers working “so hard” and I slip from the room to check on @Wrath_BDB.* #BDB

Butch:  *towels off, drying the plastic doll too, begins the diapering process, getting the tabs down* We’re ready for a check here,@DocJaneW_BDB

Jane:  @Butch_BDB Nice job. Now start over and do it with this http://buttpaste.com/*

Butch:  @DocJaneW_BDB *concerned* And I’m supposed to do what with this? Put it where, exactly?

Jane:  @Butch_BDB Anywhere that could get wet, Cop. Come on. Use that noggin.

Butch:  @DocJaneW_BDB So basically everywhere. And there’s a handy dandy applicator somewhere, right?

Jane:  @Butch_BDB Yep, it’s called a finger. *laughing* Good news is, you get to choose which one.

Bella:  *@Zsadist_BDB seems uninterested in what @DocJaneW_BDB is saying, uninterested in his doll, hoping this changes when the young is here.*

V:  @DocJaneW_BDB What the fuck is butt paste? *laughs*@Rhage_BDB did you eat paste as a young?

Jane:  *Handing each of you a tube http://buttpaste.com/* @Vishous_BDB @Rhage_BDB It’s your ticket out of Golden Girl scented talcum powder.

Rhage:  *smearing some of the butt paste on @Vishous_BDB’s goatee*@DocJaneW_BDB you said this goes on the ass right?

Jane:  @Rhage_BDB That’s a fail. @MaryL_BDB will be hearing exactly how you handled this. @Vishous_BDB *laughing at it all, males will be males*

V:  *squirts the tube all over @Rhage_BDB’s shirt, doll falling off to the side* Very funny, asshole. @DocJaneW_BDB

V:  *Squirts @Butch_BDB* Don’t want you feeling left out, Cop @Rhage_BDB @DocJaneW_BDB#BDBbuttpastefight

Butch:  *wipes some butt paste off my shirt, rubs it on the doll* I got this now. Thanks for the assist, @Vishous_BDB. @Rhage_BDB @DocJaneW_BDB

Jane:  *Looking at @BellaR_BDB, shaking my head.* Maybe we should move on from arts and crafts, andhttp://buttpaste.com?

Bella:  @DocJaneW_BDB yes *laughing* why don’t we move on

Jane:  *Watching the doggen wipe up around the scene, thinks the swaddling will be a safer topic*

Bella:  @DocJaneW_BDB I will let you finish up the training. I’ve been out of bed for my hour now, I should be getting back.

Jane:  @BellaR_BDB *Smiling* Good girl. I’ll corral the warriors, if I have to swaddle them. *laughs*

Bella:  *Standing up, leaving the doll on the table, starting the walk nice and easy.* #BDB

Rhage:  *Finally getting the diaper on correctly, lifting the doll in triumph, recoiling when the arms, legs and head pop off* Oh shit, I killed it

Butch:  *laughing so hard I lose my breath* At least I can’t fuck up that badly,@Rhage_BDB. You make the rest of us look good.

V:  *roaring laughter @Rhage_BDB* Good job, Rhage. @Zsadist_BDBwill never let you hold the young.

Rhage:  *Punching both @Butch_BDB and @vishous_BDB in the arm, bending down to pick up the broken pieces*

Jane:  *Seeing the head pop off of @Rhage_BDB’s doll* Alright everyone, that’s enough for tonight.

V:  @DocJaneW_BDB Oh thank fuck. *squirts @Rhage_BDB and@Butch_BDB with the butt paste one last time. #BDBButtPasteFight

Rhage:  *Dropping the limbless, headless doll back on the table, backing away as fast as I can* #BDB#DollDestroyer

Jane:  *Next time I’m bringing back up in the form of all females on deck.*#BDB #BDBButtPasteFight

Butch:  *takes a few extra diapers and the doll* I’m taking these back to the Pit. @MarissaH_BDB can give me private lessons #BDB#BDBButtPasteFight.

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