Brother-in-law Bonding

Rehvenge_BDB  *Gaping at the expanse of greens and fairways illuminated before @Zsadist_BDB and I.*

Rehvenge_BDB  *My numb fingers presumably still holding the rented bag filled with clubs, likely soon to be retired from further use after I have at them*

Rehvenge_BDB *Sliding a glance to see what @Zsadist_BDB thinks of this travesty of fate* Tell me you did not orchestrate this shit.

Zsadist_BDB *Slowly, swiveling my head away from the 18 hole set up and pegging @Rehvenge_BDB with a glare* What the fuck do you think?

Rehvenge_BDB  @Zsadist_BDB She used to be such a sweet female.*blames you explicitly* @BellaR_BDB

Zsadist_BDB *dropping the shitty rented golf bag like a sack of potatoes, eying @Rehvenge_BDB, sporting head-to-toe animal carcass…*

Zsadist_BDB *And representing every fancy dancy designer known* @Rehvenge_BDB You’re the high-brow type. This shit stinks of your ass.

Rehvenge_BDB Give.Give.Give. And this is what you are left with. Playing a retirement human sport with your scarred, mouthy, dickhead of a brother in law

Rehvenge_BDB  *Catching @Zsadist_BDB‘s eyeballing my usual attire, lip curling up at his leathers* This should be entertaining. *for me…perhaps*

Rehvenge_BDB  @Zsadist_BDB *glowers, stomping for line of golf carts* I sure as shit didn’t come up with this.

Zsadist_BDB *Taking my hand off my ass pocket and nixing the idea of giving @BellaR_BDB a call, letting her know jokes over.*

Rehvenge_BDB *Throwing clubs in back of a cart that looks like it will surely not live through this night, carefully wedging behind wheel* @Zsadist_BDB

Rehvenge_BDB How will I hold the club and the goddamn cane?

Zsadist_BDB *slinging the POS golf bag over my shoulder, striding towards the golf carts* @Rehvenge_BDB *scowling* Let’s get this shit over with.

Zsadist_BDB *dropping the load on the back of the golf cart, staring @Rehvenge_BDB slowly getting behind the wheel of another…waiting*

Rehvenge_BDB *Looking @Zsadist_BDB from my own golf cart* Like I trust you to not dump my ass in the drink? I think fucking not.

Zsadist_BDB *twisting around* @Rehvenge_BDB* You’re pissing me off. Get your ass in the goddamn cart or I’ll put it in the cart for you, you dumbfuck.

Rehvenge_BDB *Fangs showing white beneath the lights,knowing there’s no fucking way I can see well enough to not kill myself with the cart* @Zsadist_BDB

Rehvenge_BDB *Unfolding from behind the wheel, eyes gleaming and drilling tracks over @Zsadist_BDB‘s face as I drag the clubs to his cart*

Rehvenge_BDB *Wedging in next to @Zsadist_BDB, our shoulders mashed together…quickly leaning out the side* Drive, Jeeves. *asshole, dickhead, fucknut*

Zsadist_BDB *fingers curling around the wheel, popping the break* Your skirt’s dragging *tipping head down to @Rehvenge_BDB‘s sable*

Rehvenge_BDB @Zsadist_BDB *yanking up my coat* Your mouth’s open. *glaring straight ahead at foreign lands*

Zsadist_BDB *abruptly punching the gas as @Rehvenge_BDB yanks his sable up, turning my glare straight ahead, b-lining for the first hole*

Rehvenge_BDB *Clamping cane between knees to leave a free hand to clamp on the roof* @Zsadist_BDB Christ, have you ever even drove?More than a pedal car?

Zsadist_BDB *Hitting the wide turn, following the path* @Rehvenge_BDBWant to walk, dickhead? *slamming on the breaks* Take your pick.

Rehvenge_BDB *Meeting @Zsadist_BDB‘s look, realizing both of our faces must be showing the same nonplussed tight lines*

Rehvenge_BDB @Zsadist_BDB I take it my sister fell ass over apple cart for your winning personality. Let’s do this.

Rehvenge_BDB Can’t be too hard. Line up the shot with zero depth perception and no feeling in my hands and arms.

Rehvenge_BDB And do not wrap a nine iron around @Zsadist_BDB‘s neck for how many holes? I got this.

Zsadist_BDB @Rehvenge_BDB Yeah, among other shit *Stepping out of the cart, yanking a club out of the bag*

Rehvenge_BDB *Narrows eyes @Zsadist_BDB‘s back, refusing to think of any other things involving @BellaR_BDB* Pretty sure you don’t tee off with a putter.

Zsadist_BDB Picked up some extra Tee’s and shit *handing @Rehvenge_BDB bit.ly/qWQMXA and bit.ly/oaqKEG, striding onto the green*

Zsadist_BDB @Rehvenge_BDB *tossing over shoulder* No, but it should fit nicely up your ass.

Rehvenge_BDB *looks down* FUCK RT @Zsadist_BDB: Picked up some extra Tee’s and shit *handing @Rehvenge_BDBbit.ly/qWQMXA and bit.ly/oaqKEG*

Rehvenge_BDB *selecting with great care (none) the club to use, thinking this was @BellaR_BDB‘s payback for avoiding @Zsadist_BDBthe first time*

Rehvenge_BDB A mistake I will never make again.

Zsadist_BDB *ignoring the look on @Rehvenge_BDB‘s face over the red ball and Tee* You’re up, asshole. *stepping back, hands resting on the club*

Zsadist_BDB *And taking a couple more steps back*

Rehvenge_BDB *Shouldering past @Zsadist_BDB to drill in a tee,missing it the first few tries before carefully balancing the ball as I think it should be*

Rehvenge_BDB *Standing and looking out at the fairway with its dim patches of light* @Zsadist_BDB You see a flag? Shit. *guesses at the spot*

Rehvenge_BDB *Rolling my sable-clad shoulders back and dropping the cane in lieu of the club, the layers not helping my confidence*

Rehvenge_BDB *Looking down at the cursed ball, swinging back abruptly. The club sliding free of my numb fingers and arrowing directly @Zsadist_BDB*

Zsadist_BDB FUCK *quickly moving my ass out of the way of @Rehvenge_BDB line driving my ass with the club. Growling*

Rehvenge_BDB *Looking back @Zsadist_BDB with a smirk* That didn’t count. *going for another club*

Zsadist_BDB *squaring shoulders, dark glare bearing into @Rehvenge_BDB* What the fuck? *eyes dropping to the ball still on the tee* You missed.

Rehvenge_BDB *Lining things up, while feeling the anger cover @Zsadist_BDB‘s grid behind me. Liking that. Driving down with the club…*

Rehvenge_BDB *…and sending the ball…and about an acre of turf straight into the trees lining the fairway not 50 yards off to the right* @Zsadist_BDB

Zsadist_BDB Thank fuck there’s 14 clubs in a set @Rehvenge_BDB might go through all of those POS’s before he gets a shot off.

Rehvenge_BDB *Hearing wildlife protest my obvious prowess with a club* @Zsadist_BDB Just warming up. *stepping back, way back*

Zsadist_BDB *Silently, striding forward, plugging the tee and ball into the green, pausing, smirking back @Rehvenge_BDB then down the fairway*

Zsadist_BDB *dropping my stare down to the ball and twisting torso, winding back….*

Zsadist_BDB *way the fuck back*

Rehvenge_BDB *Unconsciously leaning back with the arc of @Zsadist_BDB‘s swing*

Zsadist_BDB *Swinging with all my strength, missing the ball* Fuck *stabbing the club head into the ground* @Rehvenge_BDB

Rehvenge_BDB @Zsadist_BDB *my fist covering the compulsory laugh* All that lead up. Pull anything important?

Zsadist_BDB Nothing you need to be concerned about. *pointing a finger at @Rehvenge_BDB* You got a do-over. I get one. *winding up another swing*

Rehvenge_BDB @Zsadist_BDB At this rate *leaning against the cart* we’ll be done at dawn. *feeling cart start to tip, instantly righting self with cane*

Zsadist_BDB *Eyes locked on the damn ball, winding back, swinging and missing the POS…AGAIN* Son of a bitch.

Zsadist_BDB *Picking up the ball and pitching the bastard down the green, stomping towards the cart and sliding behind the wheel* @Rehvenge_BDB Let’s go

Rehvenge_BDB @Zsadist_BDB That’s called karma, you red-ball-slinging motherfucker. *letting out a rare undiluted hoot of laughter*

Rehvenge_BDB *folding legs into the cart again next to @Zsadist_BDB* You know there are things called ‘sand traps’ out there. *good place to bury a body*

Rehvenge_BDB *Notices @Zsadist_BDB and I picked a low-rider*

Zsadist_BDB *Hitting the gas* There’s also things called ‘water hazards’ *lips curving into a twisted grin and giving @Rehvenge_BDB a sideways glance*

Zsadist_BDB *Good place to sink a body*

Rehvenge_BDB *Catching @Zsadist_BDB‘s look, narrowing my own eyes…lips peeling from fangs* Try it.

Zsadist_BDB @Rehvenge_BDB We got 17 more of these SOB’s. We’ll see how shit goes. So, if I were you, don’t tempt my ass, feel me? #BDB #Blackdagger

Rehvenge_BDB *Thinks tempting and ass should never be uttered by @Zsadist_BDB again in my presence* #BDB #forcedfamilyfun

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s